Thursday, October 2, 2008

A Mothers Intuition

The question is frequently asked, "Did you find out about Molly prenatally or postnatally?". The answer is "yes" to both. Some have heard my story, others have not. Here is the start of my journey with Miss Molly K.

8 weeks pregnant: Remember? I found out I was having twins? The ultrasound tech printed me a picture of each little bean? I looked at Baby B and asked the tech, "Does this baby look like it's developing normally?". I don't know what it was about that picture, but something told me at that moment something just wasn't right.

16 weeks: Went in for another ultrasound. This time the tech (a different one) was only suppose to do a cervical length but was "fishing" around, looking at the babies. She seemed to have a look of concern on her face. She told me they were girls and quickly left the room. As I walked out, I saw her "whispering" to her co-workers and the room hushed as I walked by. I caught onto this but was excited at the thought of TWO girls! Did she see something about Molly then? I can't help but to wonder still today.

20 weeks: Our BIG ultrasound. I was seriously scared out of my mind! I was sweating and my heart was pounding out of my chest. To Mike, he just wanted to confirm that there were two girls in there. I was scared to death!! Did I say that already?
Baby A: Everything looked good. "here's the kidney, heart, brain, face..."
Baby B: He was definitely taking his time. Then it happened...The tech kept measuring and remeasuring the "NUCHAL", the NUCHAL, the NUCHAL! OMG! That's it! My baby has Down Syndrome! (the nuchal fold is the fatty tissue in the back of the neck; if it is thickened, it could be a marker for DS)
Out the the lobby we go; waiting to see Dr S. I am trying not to cry my eyes out. I tell Mike my suspicions. He tells me to calm down and wait for Dr S. to explain the results. Dr S. comes into the room and states, "The GIRLS look good and healthy!" "What about the nuchal fold?" I ask. He tells me that it is just slightly elevated at 5.2mm (normal is below 5mm) and there are not other markers for DS so it really isn't likely. He offered an amnio but I obviously declined.

So, the next 17 weeks I secretly worried. I researched DS online like crazy. Especially how to diagnose prenatally without the amnio. No such luck. All of my future US came back completely normal. No other markers. So why was there this nagging feeling that she had DS? I cannot explain this. I would just have to wait to see her face to verify my feelings. Mike kept asking me why I was doing all the research on the Internet since Dr S assured us that the baby is fine. I didn't want to worry my husband as I really had NO, absolutely NO proof that Baby B did, indeed, have DS. So I let it go.

37 weeks: Maggie came out a happy, SCREAMING girl.
Molly's head was out. She had a VERY short cord and it took the Dr some time to cut her cord and she seemed to be having some difficulties breathing so I wasn't able to hold her on my chest. Right to the NICU staff she went. I got a quick glimpse of her. "Yup! I knew it! She does have Down Syndrome!" I thought.
After a short time, the NNP wrapped Molly up and handed her to me and told me her suspicions of DS. The rest of her words were a blurr. I just wanted to hold her and see her. I was not even the least bit fazed by the diagnosis. Mike, however, was crying and stated, "she doesn't deserve this". I told him that she would be fine and she is perfect.

The fear of the unknown is what scared Mike. He didn't know the first thing about what this meant for him, her, or us.

And so, our journey began on September 25, 2006 at 6:08pm...


My name is Sarah said...

Oh your babies are so cute. I love twins.

Becca said...

Wow, such a great story! Your children are all beautiful! It is amazing what we know or suspect even before the babies are born. I always had that little thought in the back of my mind, even though there were absolutely no signs of anything throughout my pregnancy. I almost wasn't surprised! Glad I found your blog (thanks for visiting mine!)!

Michelle said...

Your girls are both so adorable...what a beautiful family you have!

My answer to that question is much the same, I say no but we did suspect it. The results from my AFP were a 1 in 88 chance, but 3 u/s appts never showed any markers. So as soon as she was born and I looked at her face, I just knew too.