Sunday, February 28, 2010

Getting back to where we were...


...isn't all that easy. For those of you that do not know, as I know there are many, our adoption to bring a beautiful 4 year old girl with Down Syndrome from Russia fell through. We will not be bringing Lera home. I am elated that she has now found that "Forever Family". It will ease all of this...just a little.

Why this all happened and why God called us to her and then had to let her go is beyond our understanding. While, at the time, it did not seem fair to myself, my dear husband, and children whom grew to love her, or to Lera herself, I must remember that He knows what is for the best for all involved. OUR plan is not always HIS plan. I will, one day, understand why this all played out the way it did, but now, it just leaves us heartbroken and confused. Again, knowing that Lera will find herself in a loving and amazing home is really what this was all about and for that, I am thankful!

So much has happened in our family since I last blogged. I know that I need to get back to it and continue on with life with my amazing four children that I have been already given. They each are so amazing in their own way and I just love each and every day I have with them.

To close, I must tell you one sweet tidbit about Austin, my 15 year old.

With all teenagers, us mothers worry. We worry about them making the "right" choice, hanging with the "right" crowd and at the same time knowing that we are helpless as parents as they really seem to choose their own destiny, with our without their parents approval.

Austin is going through confirmation at church and he asked where his bible was. I had no idea where it was and thought he was just looking for it as we had confirmation class the next day.

He became, somewhat, upset at the fact that he couldn't find it so I asked him why it was so important that he find it right now. His comment to this blew me away....

"Because I want to learn about God and how to become a better person and what better way than through the bible!!"

4 comments:

Courtney said...

It's great to have you back! My heart has been hurting for you since I first heard that your adoption plans had fallen through.

While I am sure your heart will hurt for her for a long time, it is truly joyous news to learn that Lera has found a new family. Thank you for sharing what must be, for you, a bittersweet announcement.

Denise said...

I have thought about you alot and wondered how you have been doing. Thank you for the update. I am thrilled to hear that Lera has a home. I hadn't heard this yet...has it been posted on RR yet? I know it would have been wonderful for her to be with your family but I agree.....it is God's plan and all you can do is believe that!!! But again, I am sorry for the loss your family has to deal with and pray for your continued peace. I look forward to hearing updates about your family and also thanks for the nice story about your son. I have girls who are 9 and almost 11 and I am terrified about the teenage years!!!

votemom said...

could you email me to let me know about lera's new family? (vought at wowway dot com)

i understand your confusion and sadness and grief. before adopting our two daughters, we went to russia and met two beautiful little boys and signed papers to bring them home. two years later, the door finally closed and they did NOT become our sons. it was such a dark valley.

i pray that as you heal, God will give you joy and that eventually you will have peace in your heart.

清楚 said...

haha~ funny! thank you for your share~ ........................................